I guess I will start last Friday. I woke up with a new resolve to give the day to God. This was the day I was going to get the thumbs up or down from the doctor and I didn't want to be anxious about it. I was going to leave it in God's hands. Of course, that is where it is anyway, but I was going to let go. I was determined to find peace and patience in the midst of a racing heart.
Have you ever noticed on the days you are determined to have patience and find peace those are the days when things end up in shambles? This is when Cheerios saved my day. The kids were out of control. We haven't hardly seen the sun in days which means not much time outdoors. I think it was a breaking point for them. I was trying to stay busy doing laundry and cleaning so I wouldn't think and dwell on the upcoming phone call and of course, all they wanted to do was fight. So I pulled out the box of Cheerios and string and let them have at it. It just happened to be snack time as well. So we spent a good 20 to 30 minutes making Cheerios necklaces. For my children, that was a long time to sit and do one activity. I could breathe for a few minutes, and that is what I did. While their little fingers worked and in between counting I prayed. I prayed that it would be God's will and not mine and that if it wasn't meant to be I prayed that I would be okay with that.
Well, we made it through the morning and my sweet sister-in-law Kara came over to hang out with the boys while I waited for my phone call. The sun had finally come out just in time for their naps but Kara was kind enough to keep them outside. I am so uptight about them taking naps right at 1:00 but I talked myself into the fact that them playing outside in the sun was actually more beneficial for all rather than taking a nap right at 1:00. As 12:45 crept up my heart raced faster by the minute. Finally the phone rang. It was the physician's assistant telling me the doctor was just finishing up and would call me in about 5 minutes. Well, that 5 minutes turned into 30 minutes. But finally she called. She was so wonderful and kind and asked me questions about my history and made sure I knew what being a surrogate meant. By the end of the conversation I felt at ease. After two months of waiting, I was approved to be a surrogate. I thought that after I got the thumbs up I would be ecstatic. But I think the whole rush of emotions just drained me and knowing that I have more tests before I can officially be approved means more waiting. Luckily, they scheduled an appointment for me to come down and meet with the doctor and have a medical exam done along with a psych exam. I actually am going down this Friday (Feb 4th) to get everything taken care of. This means that if all comes back clear we could be starting meds in a week and a half to two weeks and doing the transfer as early as the end of February. It is all so surreal now that things are really moving along. I almost can't believe it. I am so excited to finally get to meet F and T in person. I feel like I have known F forever but to finally get to meet her is so exciting. Please pray for next Friday that I have a safe drive and that the tests go well.
The rest of the weekend was a little crazy. I really think the weather is getting to us all, along with the lack of sleep that the boys are getting. They are going to bed later and getting up earlier. We came to the decision to move them back into their own rooms. With everything that is coming up for us in the next month we felt the boys (and mommy and daddy) need to get as much rest as possible. There will come the day when it is right for them to share a room.
Here is my continued list. I love doing this list on a Monday. It helps me prepare my heart for the rest of the week to keep looking for things to be thankful for.
10. Sweatpants - I hate to admit this but I have spent the last 3 days in them.
11. Ladybugs - The boys found one and had to show me, now it is lost in the house.
12. The joy of a child over something so small
13. Sheet washing day
14. Lavender dryer sheets
16. Cool veggie pizza - ooo my favorite
17. Chocolate chip cookies
18. Love and Logic parenting - had to pull my book out to get back on track
19. Friends coming for dinner
20. The dishes being done right after dinner