I tend to have a hard time falling asleep on Sundays. My mind seems to think that if I stay awake longer on Sunday then I can preserve the weekend just a little bit longer. And although it does give me a few more weekend hours, Monday still comes and I am just that much more tired to start the week.
Well, this Sunday, along with the last two Sundays have been even more difficult to sleep. The anxiety sneaks in as I lay awake wondering if the doctor will clear me to be a surrogate. It has been nearly 4 weeks since I sent my medical records to the fertility clinic waiting for her to let me know if I can be a surrogate. I know this is something I am really hoping for, but more so I sit and am anxious to find out if F and T are that much closer to their dream of being parents or if they have to start their search all over again. I want to be the one for them, but more so I want them to have the best chance possible. By the doctor reviewing my records she can determine if I am right and so, I will wait.
I know that God is teaching us all to be patient and to rest in Him. That we must be faithful in waiting for His plan in our lives and that when this miracle happens it is for His glory.