I have sat down multiple times to try and write this blog. Nothing is coming to me. I can easily share the details of my trip down south but the emotions that were felt are difficult for me to put into words. So, I guess I'll start with the details and hope the rest will come.
I left Friday morning about 9:15 and headed down the freeway on the most beautiful day. I was so grateful not to be driving in the fog. That would have been a nightmare. I got down there in plenty of time to grab a Starbucks and chat for a bit. As I stood outside Starbucks waiting for F my excitement grew like a child on Christmas morning. She and T were my gift from God. The first thing I said when I saw her was "you're taller than I thought." It is funny that pictures do not really tell the whole story. For some reason I thought they were around my height but I was really wrong. They are both quite a bit taller than me.
We chatted for a bit and then went in to meet the doctor and start the testing. F had told me how nice everyone was in the doctor's office but they truly were the nicest women I could have met. The doctor is amazing and I am so blessed that she is working with all of us. I love how every step of this process I can see God's hand in this and he definitely hand picked her for this journey. She performed my medical test and said everything looked good. We signed consents and literally ran out the door to go meet the psychologist to get that testing done and out of the way. I was not really looking forward to talking with her. I mean, who likes having their head examined in that way? I sat with her for over an hour so she could ask me questions and try and understand who I really am, how I look at things and if I am right for this process. By then it was 7:15 (I had been going non-stop for 13 hours) I was tired and hungry and hoped it would go quickly. She also wanted me to do the MMPI (look it up). It is a test with 567 True and False questions. Plus 50 complete the sentence questions based on my marriage. Ugg! I would have rather had more medical testing than do those tests. Luckily she let me take that home or I would have been in her office until 10 or later.
I finally got out of there and went to F and T's house. They graciously offered for me to stay with them so I would not have to drive home after a long day. Now it was time to meet T. Once again I was so excited as I drove the short distance from the psychologist office to their home. I walk in the house and F shows me around. Then T comes down the stairs to meet me. I put out my hand to shake his (since I've never met him before and was hesitant about hugging him). He gave me a big hug. I just loved that. For me this was an act of appreciation but also it meant that he was trusting me with not only his baby but with his and his wife's hearts. They have gone through so much but they are once again opening their hearts and trusting me to do the best I can to help them with their dreams. Even though most of this is in the hands of God and there is not a whole lot I can do, I can still do my part and I am ready and so willing to do this for them.
We left and went to dinner at a Mexican food restaurant. They once again stole my heart when the suggested Mexican food. Yum! We sat and talked and joked like we were long time friends. It turns out that T is a lot like Travis. I think that the four of us will really get along well which will make things so much more fun. We came home from dinner and I sat and talked with F for a long time on the comfiest couch in the world. I can't wait for 3 days of bed rest on that.
I stayed the night and got up to more good conversation. I could have stayed there for a week, but I was needed at home. I enjoyed a delicious breakfast prepared with love by F and sat down to enjoy the rest of my time with T and F, knowing it would be another 3 to 5 weeks before I would see them again. I was sad to go but excited on the other hand to see my family. I made the 4-1/2 hour drive home thinking on my time there. It was so amazing which is why I am struggling through this.
I have talked to F for almost 2 months now but it was the very first time I had talked to T. He was so gracious in sharing his home and even his heart. I could see the love he has for his wife and he has so much more love to give a child. He is loving and warm and easy going. I am excited to see him as a father. They are rightfully reserved as I would be, but I am optimistic that this will be a very happy ending. Thank you for this amazing opportunity and for welcoming me into your lives.