So I have allowed myself to succumb to the tears. But only for tonight because tomorrow is a new day. I feel easily frustrated and lack the great amount of patience needed to raise two very busy boys. Therefore, I feel like a terrible mother. My house is a mess, laundry is piling up around me and the sink is full of dishes. So I will let the tears fall.
And then, I will continue my list of things I am grateful for. I know there are a lot. I don't want to sit and wallow in self pity but the hormones are currently taking over my good sense and I am letting them. I felt that the only way to focus on what is really important is to look at all the things I am grateful for.
63. A little 22 month old who smiles through the chemo and says "bye bye Jo Jo" as I leave
64. Waking up to 64 degrees in my house in the middle of July
65. Friends and family who give with their whole hearts and expect nothing in return
66. Fresh cut grass
67. Purple plums right from the tree
68. Family bike rides
69. The first little flutters of an unborn baby
70. Playing dress up
71. Kiddie pools
I feel better. Tomorrow is a new day.