Transfer Day

The transfer is in 5-1/2 hours and I can't sleep.

Travis and I got on the road about 1:45 yesterday. It is always hard for me to leave the boys. I have so much anxiety trying to get ready to leave, making sure we packed everything, packed a bag for the boys and leaving a list of recommendations, doctor's numbers, medication etc. for the boys as if other people aren't fully capable of watching them. I don't know if other moms do the same thing. I like to think they do so I don't feel so crazy. The drive was nice and didn't feel too long. But it helped knowing I didn't have to leave the same day or the next day like my previous trips. Unfortunately, Travis does have to leave today but I am grateful he was able to at least come for the transfer. Luckily we were listening to a radio station that gave us traffic updates because there was an accident that slowed up traffic through downtown LA so we took the leasurly drive around downtown and didn't have to slow down for very long. I hate sitting in traffic. One of the main reasons I don't live in a big city.

We arrived here about 6:15 and I was so excited to introduce T and F to Travis. They practically knew each other from how much I talked about each of them, but to finally meet in person was awesome. They took us to a Mexican restaurant which is, since my first visit, my favorite place ever. I have been dreaming of the chicken tacos and raving about them for months. We had a nice dinner together talking and getting caught up. Then we just came back to the house and relaxed with a movie. It was a really nice evening. Then bed time comes and I was exhausted but of course tossed and turned all night until 4:45 came around and I knew I wasn't getting any more sleep. So now here I am trying to write a blog on very little sleep.

So today we have one more obstacle to overcome, thawing the embryos. There is always a possibility that they will not be healthy once they have been thawed but once again this is out of our control. There is not much we can control in this whole process and that makes me a little crazy. But then I step back and think, should I really be in control of this? I think I would rather trust God with his miracles than myself. I would screw it up for sure.

We should here from the doctor this morning if there is anything wrong during the thawing process and then we will head down to the surgery center for a 10:30 transfer appointment. I get butterflies just thinking about it. As I sit here on the comfiest couch in the world, which I will also be doing for the next four days (lucky me) I think back on these last 4 months and am overwhelmed by the support and prayers from family and friends. When I made the decision to become a surrogate I didn't know the reaction I would get and I was afraid to tell people. I prepared myself for negative feedback but never expected the amount of support I received and am continuing to receive. This has been an amazing experience that wouldn't be the same without all of you who came along beside me. Thank you to my family and friends who have graciously accepted the job of watching and loving on my boys while I have had to travel, go to doctor appointments and now be away for 5 days. And thank you to all of you who have prayed and are continuing to pray for me, my IPs and our journey. God willing, this is only the beginning and I am excited to share this process along the way.